What you say and what others hear: advice for the Fall Semester.

​I have read some statements of values from faculty and administrators as we get ready for Fall Semester, 2023.  Examples are: transparency, caring, collegial, team player., etc

It took me 60 years and being diagnosed on the autism spectrum to understand this Gary Larson "Far Side" cartoon with respect to how people interact with people, not just dogs and cats.

Here are some thoughts. I don't pretend to follow this advice all of the time.  Nonetheless I wish I understood it the way I do now when I took on Provost roles.

1. People sense and process the world completely differently.

2. Things like transparency, caring, etc. are not determined by the person trying to be transparent or caring, they are completely determined by the recipients.

3. What one thinks about how caring, transparency, collegial, and/or a  team player, etc they are  is completely irrelevant. These are terms that describe actions not thoughts.  

4. People process things like caring and transparency in different ways. Leaders/instructors actually need to take time to understand how different people process the world. 

In my experience this can be done a couple ways- if people are not intimated by you- ask them to be honest with you about how caring, transparency, etc they think you are- you will be surprised if people are honest. 

If people are intimated by you- recognize it. Then recognize your own way of processing and sensing the world, talk to people and understand how they define key terms like fairness, caring ,etc.  Discussing personality assessments can allow a team, if carefully discussed, to have a clue of how differently each of them see the world, what they expect of each other, and what each individual "needs" to be successful. 

Deliver messages in the way people hear them. This is not as difficult as it sounds.

5. Things like caring are easy to do when people are successful or colleagues meet your expectations. But, caring matters a lot less in those situations than it does when people are struggling. In universities we are great at demonstrating caring for the best students (and those in our labs) and dismissing those who are struggling. Caring about successful students or colleagues you like is great. But, demonstrating caring (which is usually about time, engagement and curiosity)  with struggling students (who you think don't care) or colleagues who make mistakes or don't interact in the way you expect them to, is what creates a caring environment. From personal experience, being curious and empathetic with students who are struggling can open up a completely different perspective-- and it may give you an opportunity to facilitate a change in the trajectory of their lives.

6.  Don't tell people that you value transparency, caring, collegiality, etc., show them! It takes time and effort to show them. Transparency, caring, etc are not requirements to lead in a university or to make the university or a unit in the university better.

If you genuinely don't believe in transparency, or don't understand how people perceive it, and/or you don't have it as a value, don't pretend.  If you genuinely have a low priority for caring about people in your leadership style, don't say you do., A great way to lose trust is to spout values you think people want to hear, but for which  you have no genuine ability to demonstrate. Some people simply do not have an empathy "gene" but they can still effectively lead if they recognize that.

Be genuine. At least for me on the autism spectrum, I don't know how to be anything but genuine (there are good and bad aspects of that), and I can spot a disingenuous person immediately from body language or by paying attention to the first word out of somebody's mouth. I tend to lose respect immediately when that happens..

Sometimes people who are completely genuine with me but disagree with me think I don't like them.  I wish they understood how much I respect them because of their being genuine and being willing to argue with me.  I grew up in a family where arguing was a sport. We never took it personally. I have a hard time recognizing that other people can feel like disagreement with their thoughts or statements is personal. It is not for me when someone is honest- that is actually how I process thoughts and learn.,

7. A great way to create poor morale is to constantly state you care, are transparent, etc, when your actions show you are not.

8. Avoid internal spin on academic campuses. Don't try to spin success as way to boost morale- faculty and staff are too smart. Talk about progress, but be brutally honest about challenges. Faculty, in particular, are trained to be critical and want statements backed up by some sort of data. Also, don't say things are research based if you can't cite the research and you don't truly understand the data..

A great way to lose trust quickly with colleagues in academe, without actually stabbing someone in the back, is to try and spin them or to justify decisions with superficial statements.

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